SHOWROOM OF PERFECTION – US Postal Service Kindness – Chapter 7

28 03 2011

US POSTAL SERVICE KINDNESS

When I get my next paycheck, I change the Austrian Schillings into Dollars. I write a note to my Meth-dealer with exact instructions on how to send me 40 dollars worth of speed inside a skin cream that is not available in Austria. I have it all figured out.
I get stamps and just to make sure, I get three times as many stamps as I’d need.
Almost done. But wait! What’s the guys address? I know how to get there; take the 10 to San Gabriel Blvd, make a left, a right and another left. What’s the name of his street? I lie down and breathe deeply, hypnotizing myself into the memory of the street sign. Rosemead? No. Garfield. Maybe. Alhambra? That’s it. Alhambra Blvd. I’m a winner, nobody can remember stuff like me. The street number? No idea. His last name? Hmmmm.
Fuck it. I sent an envelope with 40$ in cash to Richard, Alhambra Blvd in San Gabriel, CA, USA and then I wait. A week goes by and another one. But the hope gives me strength and I eat much less. I feel giddy with excitement. Another weeks passes and finally – be still my heart – I get mail from the USA.
I rip it open. Inside is my pleading letter to Richard. But it has been opened. By the US-Postal Service! There is a note attached, that’s says: “We apologize. We tried. But we could not locate the person you are trying to contact.”
Inside, wrapped into my pathetic envelope are the 40 Dollars.


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